🎳 BOPO Draft League - Week 3: The Plot Thickens
Week 3 delivered everything we could ask for: monsters, kings, sparks flying, and at least one person who apparently discovered a cheat code.
👑 King of the Week
King Ding Dong decided that merely having the best name in the league wasn't enough and uncorked a 269 game, the highest score of Week 3. Rumor has it he briefly considered stopping at 268 just to be humble, but fortunately he ignored that terrible idea.
⚡ Sparkles Is Clearly Powered By Electricity
After rolling a ridiculous 246-216-201 for a 663 series, Sparkles reminded everyone that Mama's Return Voyage remains a problem nobody wants to deal with. If your team sees Sparkles on the schedule, you may want to start stretching now.
🏆 Team of the Week
Humboldt's Big Adventure fired the league-high 740 team game, tying the season's best mark. Apparently having a guy shoot 269 helps. Who knew?
📈 Stock Market Report
BUY 📈
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Mokiki (+56 average jump)
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Demon Boi (+55)
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Karl Hungus (+53)
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King Ding Dong (+53)
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Emiliooo (+53)
These bowlers are soaring faster than your handicap after a bad week.
SELL 📉
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Leggo My Greggo (-61.5)
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Ice Ice Mary (-49)
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Dolla Bet (-46)
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Sweet Hot Gravy (-44)
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Kelso (-39)
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Remember folks, bowling is hard. Sometimes the pins win.
🎯 Week 3 Head Turners
- Buck Ripcord continues his reign of terror atop the average list at 216.17, and frankly everyone else is just trying to keep up.
- Spare Parts sits second at 207.33, proving once again that being named after a bowling term should be mandatory.
- The Leg quietly moved up to a 192.5 average and dropped a 225 this week. Anyone sleeping on Kobra Ky might want to wake up.
🤣 Completely Unofficial Awards
🏅 Most Likely To Break a Scoreboard
King Ding Dong (269)
🏅 Human Flamethrower Award
Sparkles (663 series)
🏅"Wait... HOW Much Did Their Average Go Up?" Award
Mokiki (+56.25)
🏅 Scariest Team Nobody Wants Next Week
Mama's Return Voyage (still 3-0 and sitting on 33 points)
🏅 Name of the Week
Still impossible to beat King Ding Dong.
🏁 Through Three Weeks...
The undefeated clubs are getting harder to find, but Mama's Return Voyage, Hungry Like the Wolf, and Gutter Dusters are all making early statements. Meanwhile, the Mid Division looks like absolute chaos where practically everyone is within striking distance.
As always, we'll see everyone next week, where half the league will convince themselves they're making the All-Star team after one good night, and the other half will blame lane conditions, bowling balls, gravity, humidity, and possibly the moon. 🎳🍻