🎳 BOPO Week 7 Recap
Buck Broke Bowling, Fish Bowl Hit the Jackpot, and Somebody Check on Fineapples
Week 7 is officially in the books, and after reviewing the scores, one thing became crystal clear:
A lot of teams showed up to bowl.
Buck Ripcord showed up to commit crimes.
🏆 Team of the Week
🥇 Golden Nugget
Last week I predicted a comfortable win over Fineapples.
Instead, the Nuggets delivered a full-on demolition.
A 14-1 victory.
A 773 team game.
A 2,138 team series.
And a performance that looked less like league bowling and more like a team trying to qualify for the PBA Tour.
Honestly, the most impressive thing Fineapples accomplished Thursday night was finding the parking lot.
👑 Bowler of the Week
🦌 Buck Ripcord
720 series.
220.3 league-leading average.
There are hot streaks.
There are career years.
Then there's whatever Buck is currently doing.
The man shot 278 and somehow followed it with a disappointing 213.
That's like complaining about getting the wrong color Ferrari.
🍝 Bounce-Back Team of the Week
Bowlogna
A week ago Bowlogna suffered its first loss.
Some teams would get discouraged.
Bowlogna chose violence.
The result?
A 14-1 beatdown of Doc's Picks.
Leading the assault:
LoveSeat - 614 series
Phil Frames - 602 series
Hubie - 506 series
Doc's Picks arrived for a bowling match.
Bowlogna arrived for revenge.
🐟 Fish Bowl Jackpot Report
Fish Bowl rolled a 777 team game this week.
That is officially the coolest score posted all season.
At that point you don't even need the standings.
You just frame the score sheet and hang it in your living room.
Meanwhile Bora Bora exploded for a 234 game and a +56 average increase.
The Fish are no longer sneaky good.
They're just good.
🫎 Moose Report
I've run out of new ways to describe Doc Moose.
This week:
227
190
189
606 series
Because apparently averaging 200 wasn't enough.
Meanwhile the Three Eyed Moose picked up another win and now sit alone atop the Bass Division with 70.5 points.
Nobody circles a matchup against the Moose and says:
"Good, this should be relaxing."
🏆 Women's Performance of the Week
👑 The Leg
Another week, another reminder that The Leg is one of the toughest matchups in the entire league.
She helped lead Kobra Ky to a huge 9-6 victory over Return of the Blankets and continues to sit among the league leaders with a 191.5 average.
At this point every Bass Division captain checks Kobra's lineup and immediately starts doing math.
🎭 Character Development Award
Pale
Biggest increase in the league.
+59.4 average jump.
227 game.
209 game.
And a starring role in Da Strike's 13-2 demolition of Cha Cha Slide in my DMs.
That's a complete character arc.
🎯 "Where Did THAT Come From?" Award
Keebler Elf
619 series.
The Elf absolutely carried the Gutter Dusters to a 10-5 win over Slay & Co..
If somebody told me a mythical cookie employee threw 619, I'm not sure I'd question it.
💀 Tough Week Department
Let's take a moment for the following individuals:
📉 Spare Parts (-42.3)
📉 Vizzini (-40.8)
📉 3 Ton (-39.6)
📉 Split Lips (-34.8)
📉 Lucky Larry (-32.1)
Special shoutout to Lucky Larry.
At some point we may need to revisit the nickname.
😂 Things I Got Wrong Last Week
Golden Nugget vs Fineapples
I predicted 11-4.
Golden Nugget won 14-1.
My apologies for underestimating the massacre.
Bowlogna vs Doc's Picks
I predicted a close match.
Bowlogna won 14-1.
Apparently pasta is fueled by spite.
Fish Bowl vs Bobcat
I said Fish Bowl was sneaky good.
Fish Bowl immediately rolled a 777.
Message received.
🎲 Playoff Watch
Don't forget:
The Top 5 teams from each division qualify for the playoffs.
That gets us to 15 teams.
The 16th playoff spot?
Absolute chaos.
Every team outside the Top 5 enters a random drawing after the regular season finale for the final playoff berth.
Which means a team can spend all season grinding out points...
Or just become the luckiest team in BOPO.
🍺 Commissioner Notes
Week 7 taught us several important lessons:
✅ Buck Ripcord is still unfair.
✅ Three Eyed Moose are officially the team to beat in Bass.
✅ Golden Nugget might be the hottest team in the league.
✅ Bowlogna took their first loss personally.
✅ Fish Bowl is done sneaking up on people.
✅ The playoff lottery is going to cause complete and total chaos.
And somewhere around 9:45 Thursday night, a bowler looked at the scoreboard and said:
"I bowled way better than my score."
Which is bowling's version of:
"The fish was THIS big."
See everybody for Week 8. 🎳🍻